I had a dream.

And in that dream, I always said YES.

Too late to cry over spilt milk.

The last-minute list

Now realizing that I only have about 12 minutes to put together a list of things that I want for my birthday, here's a very spontaneous and impulsive list of my heart's desire this year! The list is not in any particular order, but the first item is obviously the MOST wanted!

1. Two tickets to Jay Chou's concert in Toronto, Canada in December 2008 (that's right, TWO tickets, I'm not gonna go alone right?) + travel expenses paid

2. One white Pomeranian and one black Pomeranian (that makes TWO dogs)

3. A rewind of the recent events - a chance to take the opportunity!

4. Cash cash cash!:)

5. A nice looking purse (which needs to be approved by me - seeing how indecisive and particular I can be sometimes)

6. Transportation and living costs paid for bringing Brandy (my dog) over to London to stay with me!

7. Scholarship for tuition fees

8. Prayers and wishes to be granted and answered!:)


Happy birthday to me! And goodbye teen years!

People who think they knew me

A very interesting event (which I will mention some other day) led to have a look at my Friendster testimonials....and I did find a jungle of testimonials written by friends for me!:) While reading them, I realised that the way I was described in their eyes, during a few years back, was quite accurate (back then!) and mostly may not seem so now. I thought it would be interesting to expose the truths and the myths of some of these testimonials; pretty much of an update of what I suppose I am like - or just mere thoughts on what people saw in me.

Below are shortened extracts (just the salient facts) of friends' testimonials.

RK: she ah,quiet..n a strict prefect...dun go near her...very scary!! when she on9,better dun
disturb her...she alwiz play game...

Sigh :( I think this is one of the many views that I get from people...scary...strict...well, can't say much to that really. Since I have no further responsibilities that requires such characterisms, then, I proclaim I am not anymore!:) Oh yea. I think I used to game a lot back in high school. Hmm, not a good habit.

Oli: *glares at istee*..she ar..she's actually my (sui ma) which stands for bad and evil mom =p.
The REAL istee..is nice to talk to..very cute and adorable when she's pissed AND she's
super good in vball.

Lol! You know I have never heard anyone mentioned that I look cute when pissed..because I think a lot of people think I look scary when normal..and ofcourse when I'm pissed..*read on further down..*

Alex: Sometimes smile like an angel.. but sometimes can be as fierce as a uruk-hai

You know, until today I never found out what's an uruk-hai. ??

S: Heyy its 'isterii'..ahahahah. cikgu sabidi loooooved to call u that!

Haha!:) That was my pet name for my former std 6 class teacher.

Sung: She beliffs love mus hav ''yuan'' 1....so guys tat like tis lenglui out ther ar....must make it
seem is chemistry when u meet her!!! ...Then always say is bad 2 eat sweets in class!!!

Did I really? I can't remember! I guess so back then. But you know after sometime, you realise sometimes that may not really be the case. It would be ideal if we can all depend on fate, but sometimes it doesn't really work the way. Nonetheless, it would still be of great help, having the assistance of the Heavens!

Oh yea! I remember being at the back of class in Form 5, last table, and I unwrapped a sweet in BM class, and waited 5 minutes before I finally popped it into my mouth. Just didn't want to get caught.

CS: Shez also my 'si fu' in vball...last time my vball skills sux like shit..now better lorr......she
teach me ...I see this gurl as the future 10A1 gurl, future club president,future vice
captain..haiyaa..all those la..i reli look up to u ist..

This was definitely the most touching. Thanks so much dear :) And am so sorry to let you down in any way - as we both know, none of it happened! Lol! But it was great to know that someone does believe in me. Your support, friendship and kindness are your attributes and I truly treasure.

And btw, my vball isn't that good - I think you can understand the extent of my abilities. Not very far and not very good either. The next few years, as you would have known, have proven that :(


KS: She oso dem helpful le...alwayz help me in kimia and fiziks.

Oh did I?! Lol, I really forgot! My physics was crap so I'm wondering how much was I of help to you...

Y: Oh yeah n when she siao dat time can really laugh man..!!

Haha really?!! I'll not comment on this.

Dn: Ooh ya, i still can remember something she did to me last year.. i wuz in the concert at night
(last year) i wuz OF COURSE not wearing uniform.. she caught me to the teacher n it wuz like
i was being punished ( i gotta wear the tie for one week ) but i dun mind ler

Oooops. So sorry dn :( I don't recall that anymore! Errrrm. I didn't know that will happen to you? Errrrm. That teacher lar. So unreasonable, haiyer. Like that also want to punish you...teruk betul. *faster runs away* Haha! I must bring this up with you one day! I think we both have forgotten this! Lunch on me one day kay :)

HM: But everytime also c her online wor.. summore play CS... in skool, she worries bout every
little thing... haih~ n alwayz haf a sad look on her face...

Yeah, I think I spent lots of time online just playing games back then. Now I don't, perhaps there aren't many new games that I'm interested in or my interests have changed. Sitting too long at the pc makes my back stiff neways.

Do I worry about every little thing??

Erm yeah. Am not surprised that I always had a sad look on my face - people have mentioned. I think I have a face problem.

OSK: Even helped me lz time,everyday ask her for hw den she wan me 2 write every
hw down in my diary..kekez.guess dats wht im doin nowadayz..shez a vr responsible person
even if i dun reli noe her,though i get da feeling da im a creepy person 2 her..=)... even
though its been 4 yrs..kakz..ciaoz..*the following has been paid by the fans n supporters of
SK the Great*

Haha SK how much were you paid huh?:) I totally forgot about making you write yr homework until I read this! Its good for you isn't it??:) And you, when you go to library next time, better study and not watch stuff on yr comp.

Ohh and I never thought you were a creep! *eeerrr....lol jk!*

4 years of same class, 7 years of friendship, and still counting!;)

RC: Seems she's a leftie as well... and she got the unlucky number.. 14

Hmm yea I got the unlucky number 14 for one of my vball jerseys. But it was my fav jersey!

AT: Always talk alot..but also entertaining.always sing jay chou's song beside me...at least i'm not
bored coz i got a singer beside me.

HP DUTY with you was SOO FUN! Loved every bit of it. We could recognize tons and tons of hps, we knew those who had hps, we knew those who will come in late to hand in their hps. Loved staying back just chatting with you, catching up on stuff. And remember when I lost a hp? Thanks so much to you guys for being there for me.

Take care and would love to see you again soon!:)


MLKK: I had the weirdest encounter with you . that was in standard 5 . i saw u in a terrible little
red dress .

What red dress? :( And I remember the poems, I hope you dont :)

Yits: By the way, I'll pass u the Doremon books 1 day.

Yup I still do read Doraemon. He's a cool robotic cat from the future!

LYM: The gal who brought me down 2 the canteen on the 1st day of skool... how could i eva 4get
u?...there's one doubt i have 2wards her. she claims herself 2 b the best housewife n how
could tat b when i'm the best!!

Yes I remember bringing you to the canteen that day! Was really good to get to know you!

Oh and I remember there was once I wanted to be the best housewife. Haha! Not now definitely...too many things to do and achieve. Perhaps it'll be saved for later.

EL: yer..i can jus imagine ur "enliiiii...u should study...u want good grades riiigghtttt"*shiver*

What else can I say?:) As yr mum I'm supposed to look out for u right!

PIE: Hey Bistee! :D you're not single ya... Don't lie to everybody! Hehehe. The Sheep will be so
sad! Anyway, how are your hols? Hope it's great! :D Marty Casey rocks! Hahahha. Er... just
wanted to say hi... And erm... lalalala enjoy your hols?

LOL PIE! Haha!!!!!! I'm going to show you this one day!!! The way you talk to me then and the way you talk to me now is sooo different! Haha you crack me up la...


HLN: Neways hope u dont go crazy like da dusun eco resort where u went crazee when singing
that song..dunno waht di..:p

Haha! Forgot what song that was, I think it was Qing Tian. But I remember singing it too much that you got hooked on it too. Ahh :) Haven't seen you in ages! Ohhh yea rmb Dusun Eco, I broke the brake? Then no one could do the flying fox anymore...haha..sorrry!!

So many memories, some have already been forgotten. Primary school and high school was great, the ups were fantastic, though the downs were depressing. It seems like a long time ago, and that it all happened during a different period in time.

Volleyball

You know you play volleyball when..

1. When a ball is hurled at your face, you either set, pass, or hit it. Or you flail your arms spastically.

2. You know what a libero is/does.

3. You have injuries on your knees, elbows, ankles, neck, shoulders, back, head.........

4. You've tried setting into a basketball hoop. And it's much easier than actually shooting a ball into a basketball hoop.

5. You think TV should show more volleyball than any other sport.

6. You've had at least one ball hit you in the face.

7. Whenever you see a volleyball, you have to touch it.

8. You don't dribble balls, you smack them with the palm of your hand.

9. Your not afraid of falling.

10. You either laugh or get really mad when you see other people trying to play volleyball.

11. You get really upset when someone kicks a volleyball.

12. Volleyball is more important... than anything else that you have to do.

13. You've wanted to kill your coach at one point. AND/OR Your coach has wanted to kill you at some point.

14. Two words. Get low.

15. When going up for a hit, you've at least completely missed the ball once in your life.

16. You've run into a wall, pole, person, bleachers... many times.

17. You've attempted passing or setting a basketball and failed miserably

18. You've dived while playing gym volleyball before you realize you're not wearing kneepads.

19. You're sick of explaining to people why one girl on the court is wearing a different colored jersey.

20. You know the ball goes UNDER the net, and you do NOT throw it over.

This is not an exhaustive list of occasions nor is it my own created list. But, this is a list which I whole-heartedly agree with!:)


I have this insatiable passion for volleyball. It is something I cannot explain nor rationalize why this might be so. I mean, I'm not tall, I don't have that kind of power, I'm not fast, and I can continue giving the endless list of reasons why I'm not an ideal player.

Perhaps it is just the burning desire in me - after all, not everything can be explained right? Volleyball is one of the only things (if not the ONLY!) that can take my mind off anything - ANYTHING - including my music idol, Jay Chou (shocking isn't it!). It is the only thing I do, that when I do it, my mind goes blank and is totally focused on the game. Nothing else goes through my head, and nothing else could seem anymore important at that moment.

As cheesy as this may sound, I'm glad to have found my passion. I know that some people have many interests or hobbies, but to finally find a passion is really a different feeling - because it makes you feel like a different person when you are immersed in the thing that you do.

As they say, keep the ball flying :)

Rabbit

A few days ago, I bought some chocolates for a friend.
Since I wanted to get nice, presentable chocolates, I decided to go to Godiva.

Personally, I am no fan of Godiva chocolates. I am one who can't appreciate good, quality chocolates at all. All those funny filings ie syrup, wine, turkish delight, coconut..(eeee!), are none that I fancy. Hence I always stick to the traditional, you-know-what-it-tastes-like-chocolates.

But anyway. Wanting to get a nice gift, I chose Godiva. I picked up a nice looking box, got to the counter and paid for it.

Upon receipt of the receipt, I noticed that I was charged for 2 items, when I only bought one.
And there was this funny item which cost RM21.

After enquiring, I found out, I was charged for the little white rabbit "lucky charm" decoration on the box. I literally COUGHED BLOOD.

I was like WHHHHAAAT. I thought the rabbit was not a very cute item on the box of chocolates and had intended to remove it before presenting it to my friend.

Instead of arguing like a lawyer and demanding a refund (I'm pretty sure I could get one - there were NO signs to bring one's attention to such crazy claims, or even if there were some signs, it was NOT VISIBLE), I bit my lip and accepted that I had unknowingly and rather unwisely paid an arm and a leg for a "lucky charm" that I didn't like and had intended to remove anyway.







Can anyone please tell me, how do you justify RM21 for this piece of cloth-type rabbit???

Sigh. What to do? I'm keeping it with me, hoping that it will indeed bring me some luck. Who knows? Could be a good investment :)

Exoneration

YES!

This is it.

I am EXONERATED from the burden I have been carrying for the past few months.

It feels good :)

Time really does help. Maybe what you wanted a year ago, may not be the same thing that you want now. And I believe, that's exactly what has happened.

And thats why I believe everything happens for a reason. I am very much glad that some things didn't happen. Because there could be other things waiting to happen.

Now, tell me I made the right choice?

I am lifting the private mode off this blog in about a few seconds.

After perhaps a month of contemplation, I was on the verge of closing down the blog or even starting a brand new blog. I don't know, this blog didnt seem to serve a purpose anymore.

Then I started to look back at my previous posts. Yeah, posts during 6.2 and 1st yr uni was more of emoing rather than penning down memories. Hmmm I don't know why either. I suppose when I'm frustrated, I tend to blog, and its nice to have an invisible soul out there to hear me out. Whoever you are.

But looking further past those posts, I realised that I have a jungle of memories that I never want to forget. Past attachments, birthdays, outings.....all the things that I have been through in my life, things that I have learnt, is all part of me. Rather self-explanatory.

Hence - this blog SURVIVES! =)

But this doesn't change the fact that I am still annoyed by the snail speed in uploading photos :(

A month ago...

My short stint at WP has finally come to an end. The one month long working in town could have never felt any longer, yet it has never felt shorter than ever.

Let me pen down my WP experience, just as I have done before for previous attachments.

I started on a memorable date of 18-8-08 :) While I was supposed to be at the office at 9am, it was not only until perhaps 9.20 - 9.30am when I was finally brought into the office. Along the way, I met JY who was also currently working there. Was nice to see a familiar face in a strange, new surrounding :)

I was pretty surprised when I was told that the WHOLE DAY on my first day was just training. And I was thinking, what training?!! I mean, its not like I'm gonna really get anything real to do. Perhaps just tons of research. Or something.

I was brought into a room where I met BC who was the student attachment coordinator. After a small chat, we went through some slides as BC was explaining some things about the firm and how the firm operates. Subsequently, other coordinators came in and gave a small talk on their designated topics. As I was actually caught offguard that the training will be a WHOLE DAY long, I was longing very very much to have a visit to the loo. I paiseh to walk out halfway during the training to go to toilet. And also, I did not have a substantial breakfast - mere oats did not last me past the morning. During a talk about Finance, my stomach was grumbling and growling - I felt really bad as I felt that I was going to vomit infront of the person who was giving the talk. I made a mental note there and then to have a HUGE breakfast the next time I go for work.

The talks were very impressive. It wasn't so much so about substance, but more of the feel of the firm. It feels really good to have someone brief you upon the history of the office, and to give an idea on how the firm works and operates. I was also told about the other things that the firm develops upon - VIP compliance, Business Development, Talent Management....etc. This impressed me, cause I feel that I understand the firm better and how professional things are over there. WP is a KL office of Baker & McKenzie, and being an international law firm, there are many standards that WP has to accord to, and lots of coordination to adhere to. Example, VIP compliance is standard everywhere, conflicts of law & interest are avoided, etc. It was then that I realised how big a scale things are looked at.

After a few talks, it was time for the library tour. Oh my, the library was definitely undersized, compared to other firms! I was literally shocked. Perhaps only twice the size of my single-Holborn-room. Since it was small, = not many books. But after being there for a month, I have great respect for the librarians. It was then that I realised its not the amount of books you have in the library (most law libraries are filled with journals and reports anyway, so its the texts that matter), but more importantly, how efficient and updated the librarians are. The librarians are amazing people who make the lawyers' lives easier. They are so up-to-date and they know everything that goes around in the library. They update lawyers everyday on the news headlines, and inform lawyers when some new books/The Edge comes in, when the new issue of AMR is out and what are the featured cases......very highly efficient. They have got a very good catalogue system and case law system. With lawyers burdened with lots of work, competent and able librarians make the lawyers' lives easier, with their efficiency, knowledge, and their ever-ready-to-help attitude. And that made me realise that that should be the role all law librarians should aim to achieve.

Finally then, it was the highlight of the day: LUNCH. Oh yea, I couldn't wait to unleash the glutton in me. It was then that I met Buddy, who kindly picked me up from the training room and then we headed to my all time favourite cuisine - dimsum!:) (And we all know how much Istee can eat during dimsum) Though Buddy asked me to order, I just couldn't order. The indecisiveness came back. Should I take the wu kok and salad har...but then its deep fried, should take the steamed ones..but then the deep fried nicer lah...but then oil..but then but then BUT THEN! So I left it to Buddy to choose, and he order probably all deep fried (yes!). Which I had no problem with, because I was so hungry and I get to eat good food that I like. It's a win-win situation. Buddy mentioned that he's my buddy cause BC thought that both of us will get along (comparing CVs). As Buddy and I got to know each other a little better over lunch, I thought Buddy was really nice and that I've got a good buddy!:)

We had a 2 hour lunch!(12.30-2.30pm) By which it was time for me to go back and finish the rest of my training. After that, I was brought around the office to say hi to everyone (hi = introduce myself and shake hands), to EVERYONE. There were many faces and names which I did not remember on my first day. Many a time I had to ask the "What's your name question" over and over again. I was then shown to my place, which is next to Adrian. I was so surprised: I was placed in a ROOM, with my OWN COMPUTER, with my OWN LOGIN & PASSWORD, with my OWN EMAIL, with my OWN EXTENSION. Wow. It was then I realised how important this is - how much was expected of me, how serious I was supposed to take this. Attachees at other firms definitely do not get this kind of treatment, even pupils in other firms hardly get a LCD computer and their own phone line. This is the kind of respect I greatly appreciate from the firm. That us attachees have the ability to do real work, and that we're not there for just some menial work. That everything we do actually matters.

After talking to Adrian, I was shocked with horror to discover that my photo had been circulated to everyone in the office through email by the admin, so that everyone knew there's this newbie walking around in office. EEEEEEEEE.

But this is what I have come to appreciate from the firm as well. That once you enter, you are properly introduced to everyone, to show that you actually matter to the firm. That your presence marks a difference. Unlike a normal scenario whereby most people don't take the effort to know the attachees, or even bother to know whether if a new one has arrived or not. No one's to blame for this, people are busy, but this is just an extra effort by WP which will set it apart from the other firms. You feel greatly welcomed.

One of the first few assignments were Memos from CL! I nearly fainted when I heard what I was assigned to do. To start off, I have not even started second year. And, my attachments at other firms literally taught me nothing about Memos. Heck, I've not even heard of Memos to begin with! Anyway, a Memo is something like an "answer script" to the issues put forward by clients. Essentially, what it contains is a brief background of salient facts, issues that are to be considered, followed by advice. The first 2 sections are manageable...Finance jargon is a little tough to handle but is doable. The advice bit is really the tough part. Having NO legal knowledge AT ALL in banking or finance, I have no idea where to start. Or how to start. It was my first time hearing about BNM Guidelines and Exchange Control Notices. What the hell were those?!! And how do I apply them?!! And how do I make a nothing into a something?!!

Thank goodness for Buddy. He gave me several templates to have a look to get a flavour of what these things are and what is expected of me. Those templates/ other Memos really helped a lot! I was finally able to somewhat finish a draft, which I doubt had hit the sweet spot, but nonetheless...nearing the core of what was expected of me.

As days passed, I found the work very challenging and sometimes tough to meet deadlines. I sweat especially when the clients want something NOW. The scope of work I got was great - I have never done (or even heard of!) many many things before. Memos, opinions, different types of research, news compilation, tax update (!!!), translations, phone calls to government departments, status updates, narration, form 14As...and plenty of research. It really gave me a clearer idea of what lawyers do, as I was involved in matters from the start till the end.

Stress & deadlines are something that I don't have to blog about. Because I will always remember how it felt. Once I get a piece of work, especially research, my heart goes thump thump thump cause I think research is my weakest point - research is something very wide and there can be no end to it, there's always a lot of unexplored areas waiting to be discovered. Me (= don't like reading) don't do well in research. Also, especially when people are depending on you to deliver...my heart beats even faster. I'm very much afraid so many times that I can't deliver whatever they are looking for, or I can't meet the deadline, or the quality of my work is crap....


It was great to be in such an intellectual environment, where you are thrown into the deep end. And that is where you learn to become independent - and thus enhance the abilities that you have within you. I like the fact that the partners and associates trust us attachees enough to hand us work, unlike the common view of partners/lawyers who feel that attachees are not capable of doing much. This is wrong. As an attachee, if the partners/lawyers feel that you are not capable of handling a matter, you will automatically doubt yourself and just give in, believing that you can't do it. At WP, you are forced to learn and to build your skills around the assignments that you have been assigned to. It is a great feeling when work is assigned to you, because you feel that lawyers trust you enough to handle the work. And also, I feel the reciprocal respect when I'm included in emails between clients, for follow ups, or for the work I've done. And thats a great feeling - you can actually see your own piece of work being sent to the clients, and it is then you realise what a big impact your work has on a matter.

Another good feeling is when you get good feedback from the partner/associate whom you've done work for. I was very very surprised and delighted when AW wanted to see me personally to commend me for the short piece of research that I had done. While I do feel that it is one of my better pieces of work, the process of getting there was quite a something. I had to make numerous calls to the IRB, whereby I was transferred to and referred to someone else EVERY TIME someone answers the call. No one wanted to answer my question. This was soo annoying because I had to make over 10 - 15 calls just to get someone to answer ONE question. And finally, when someone did answer my question, I decided to make full use of the conversation and bombard the poor lady with my questions. As I was a total noob in tax, I had to ask the most obvious questions, until I could hear her "sigh" a couple of times. I noted the impatience in her voice as she was explaining the basic ideas behind taxation in Malaysia. Ohhh well. But its this small compliment that really really made my day. It is something that I appreciate and I will continue to keep it at heart in whatever I do :)

At the end of the day, it's really not about the pay. Even I almost forgot to claim my pay until like maybe 15mins before end of work time?! Ahhh. The last day was really something - perhaps the most relaxing day I ever had. Work came in slowly, I took my time with my last research and the status update for some agreements. I cleared my desk, feeling somewhat nostalgic leaving the place...siting next to Adrian for a month. Though he's been really busy, it was good to have someone around to chill with once a while.

Those of you who know me, I'm quite a rather shy person. I like to come in quietly and leave quietly. However, the experience insofar has greatly enriched me and being there for a month, I was definitely going to miss the place and the people. I decided to get the office a cake (which unfortunately didn't seem enough...must get some more next time) and also sent a mass email to the whole KL office saying bye. It wasn't a tearful event or anything, but ofcourse it felt quite nostalgic. This was a place that I have been spending ATLEAST 10 hours a day for the past one FULL month (no leaves taken). (As usual) I went around taking photos with the people I've worked closely with for the past month...the attachees - Sharmini & Serene, the librarians - CL & GC, the pupil who delegated work to the attachee - Fariz, roomate, Buddy and JY. Perhaps I was too late in seeing the rest because I went around saying my byes when people were already leaving office for home.

Some photos of the people in the firm (some are not posted due to personal requests):






















































































Thanks everyone for the valuable experience insofar. The internship was truly memorable, and I have learnt lots about responsibility, accountability, maturity and relationships.