What's going on?

While being written in a really really drowsy state...please ignore the non-fluency

Seriously, what's going on? It's just as if some weird phenomenon has taken stride and has left its after effects.

Time and again I see the people closest to me hurt, confused, and worst of all - helpless. Listening to them pouring themselves out is really disheartening. As a friend, it feels really crap cause you know how it is exactly - and that you can't do a thing about it. It sucks because the pain inside never really goes away, and you really feel hollow. And that you start to see no point in doing anything anymore. You know how true it is that nothing helps except time. As much that you would want time to pass by so fast that you don't feel anything anymore, that's not really going to happen. I've read recently that you should slowly enjoy your life cause its not Disneyland where you can (or should!) get a fast-pass to the rides.

It's almost quite freaky how things are turning out. And then I don't know how certain things will be. As a mere observer, it is almost giving me no reason at all to believe in anything. It raises a lot of questions which I have pondering to myself and hoping that someday I will be able to answer them myself. I really don't know.

Thinking about it, everything being so long ago, I really think I'm a noob. Some might snicker, some might laugh, some might say that I am in denial, but this was never the way I saw things to be. Maybe I'm still so young and naive to believe. Maybe I still believe what I really want to believe - maybe I haven't changed.

Recent incidents have been putting my beliefs to test. And I don't know what to think anymore - because I would always want to believe in something happy and lasting. As I was contemplating on how I would view things, I had a chat with a friend. And that made me realise that all is really not lost. There are still the rarities out there which do work. And from that moment I knew, I need to find faith.

As many events would prove me wrong, I really still want to continue believing. As funny as it may sound, I am happy. I want to indulge in all that I feel. While I still can. Before, if ever, it gets taken away.