I can't live without my right pinkie

Just one night, within the span of 2 hours (3 at max), so many things ran through my head simultaneously.

A few hours ago, I was braving the snowstorm just to make it for volleyball practice which I had not been to for the past weeks. As my body was crying out for more sports, and my pimples show evidential certainty to support this preposition, I vowed to get to the sports centre no matter what. Along the way I got lost which made my spirit withered a little. And then I told myself, when I take the next turning, if I'm still not on the right road, I would turn and head back home. Snowing in London is great - but not when you're hanging outside with insufficient clothing and hair tied up. My ears felt so stiff and numb that I was certain that I could just break it off. Maybe I wasn't meant to be there.

But then the right turning came up and in no time I was at practice. Half an hour late. But its okay, since I got there anyways. And from not playing for approximately 2 months, the training session went pretty well. It was just amazing amazing amazing(!!!) to be able to play again. Wonderful, exhilarating, fantastic.

I have been trying to set more - cause I think that's the thing I should work on, something that I could probably try to be good at. I would need endless hours to train my spiking. And maybe eternity to get my receiving perfect.

So then we were playing, the opposing team spiked, someone received to the back court, and there I was, legs not swift enough to move back in time, doing my best to set. I can't remember exactly how it went, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the best ever. But immediately, I felt this sharp, awkward pain on my right pinkie. It was funnily bent-straight (yay, oxymoron!) and it just felt really stiff. And I thought, ouch, but oh okay, I'm sure its nothing. So then the opposing team served, and when I got read to dig, I realised I couldn't hold my right hand. The pain was not excruciating, but nonetheless, the mere existence (and not movement!) indicated that I should sit out.

My friend scared the daylights out of me when he said that he thinks its broken! Bear in mind that in my whole volleyball life, this is my first time ever getting a finger injury. Ofcourse I was freaked out. Brother was no help either - my eyes nearly popped out when he said that my finger will be like that FOREVER. Negative dispositions like these were playing in my head over and over again.

I didn't really want to go to the hospital initially, but others insisted that I did. While I was persistent that I could handle it myself and that I didn't need anyone to come, here, and only here I admit that it would be great to have someone around. Walking out in the snow to an unknown place alone, not knowing what happened to you nor not knowing what will happen next was, for a first-timer, pretty much terrifying. Not to mention the throbbing pain too :(

Thank goodness Kart came along!:) I couldn't persuade her not to come cause she was too bored at home. However, it really really helped alot to have someone around cause honestly, I was feeling really lousy. We went to the A&E department and saw a nurse who brought me to a doctor. The hospital were very efficient, friendly and comforting. And I felt very much like a kid again. The doctor spoke to me in this soft, gentle voice that made it almost impossible for me to feel nervous. I was given some sort of nitrous oxide to inhale as a painkiller while she straightened out my finger. That HURT more than anything else!!! It was beyond horrible and horrendous.

I don't know if the nitrous oxide helped at all. I think its just something to keep on my mind off my finger, and after inhaling so much of that gas, I felt really really dizzy - like I've had an overdose of alcohol (erm, not that it has happened anyway, it is purely hypothetical). Following that, I did an X-Ray and the doctor found that there's a small break in one of my phalanx. As she was not satisfied with my finger, she tried again and again to sort it out. Then she wasn't satisfied and then she got a nurse to hold me at the back while she used all her might to straighten my finger. It felt like tug-o-war only with my finger. Was a little worried whether my finger might be wholly dislocated or not!

Don't think all those subsequent pulling helped much. My last 2 fingers were then banded together and then I was ready to go home!(and have to come back another day to see the orthopedic, I suspect, just to affirm that things are okay) Which I did.

I realised a few things. That there are some things which are inconvenient for me to do even with my little pinkie affected. Example, I couldn't even open my water bottle :( I can't reach for my back when I bathe. I realised that I use my right hand to wash my face, cause I pour the facial wash on my right palm but now I can't do that. Buttoning becomes harder. Washing is slower. Eating is easier with chopsticks only. Typing is not too difficult, but smsing takes some time. Oh, I press the Enter button the keyboard with my right pinkie. I guess I can't make any pinkie promises for the moment. And when my interview comes this week, I'm wondering if its possible if I could shake with my left hand instead. Any ideas?

But not only those. I realised that those closest to you care the most. Logical, a perfect assumption, though not explicitly seen or felt every time.

I realised that sometimes I don't take myself seriously. And I had someone to imply that to me for me to actually realise it. Its sort of that I don't acknowledge what's going on with myself, or just ignore adverse issues that I'm subconciously facing. I really don't intend to be oblivious towards myself, its just that I don't want to worry others. But now that I realise it, it's ticking in my mind..not that it's going to change anything I suppose.

I realised that good friends are really so dependable and caring. And it feels good to have someone beside you. And I'm definitely more calm, composed and myself when I'm around with my good friends. Am really really grateful.

Many other things I've realised but I don't suppose they could be mentioned without:
(a) being really explicit
(b) sounding really convoluted
(c) seemingly nonsensical

And. I realised that I'm going to get very little sleep tonight cause I'm still up but I don't mind cause I feel calm now. And I realised that because I didn't have time to prepare for one of my classes tomorrow, and probably won't have much time to do so tomorrow morning, my tutor is going to be suspicious if I skip class and said that I broke a finger. Oh wells. I'll just do my best.

What a day, what a night. So many things a little pinkie could teach me :)