Mere dream?

I went to look up what surreal meant...and it was described as having the disorientating, hallucinatory quality of a dream. I could not have expressed this better.

A lot of things feel weird and I'm still on my quest of finding out why. Its paradoxical to say that my oldest and most trusted corner does not feel like my own anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly reverting between two worlds; unsure if I'd really like the fusion to occur.

But then came the day which took me by surprise and I realise I can no longer hide...nor disguise what I used to be, what I was, and contrast with what I am today. You came in and looked curiously at the strange surroundings, perhaps making a judgment of who I am. And somehow I may not fit into the puzzle.

Little did I know that along the way, that you are unknowingly being integrated into what I hardly show to the rest. Walking along the steps that my small feet use to run over, touching the things which I used to be fond of dearly. Its not just the material objects, its also the communication which has lived for long. The noisy silence that occasionally runs through the environment...probably something you can't comprehend; neither could I. As you quietly pick upon the simplest yet rawest memories of my life, I wince. I wince because it feels so private and untouched; not a soul must know anything. It felt uncomfortable because its a part where I don't hope for people to know. Surprisingly...it felt good to share, and I sincerely understand what it means to let someone into your life. In your past, present and future. And that, within my insecurities, I am happy to share.

I wonder to myself every chance I get...was this real? I still feel dazzled and am not sure what kind of impression it had left on you. If anything should happen to me, at the very least, I would be happy to know that I have exposed what I was and what I am to who I deem important. If this is surreal, then I would be happy to continue hallucinating in this dream.